Jennifer Lopez says that although her partners have all been very different people, she has made the same mistakes with all of them. Lopez, who is reportedly heading towards divorce from Ben Affleck, says she often makes mistakes in relationships. While she doesn’t entirely blame herself for the relationships falling apart, she says she has encountered the same problem almost every time. She shares how she learned to overcome it.

Jennifer Lopez says she often makes mistakes with her partners

While still married to Marc Anthony, Lopez discussed her past relationships in a conversation with Vanity Fair. She admitted that in her previous relationships with the likes of Affleck and Sean “Diddy” Combs, she wasn’t close enough to herself.

“I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, what I deserved, what I needed,” she said. “For me, it was more about other people, and that’s where I messed up. It wasn’t even their fault; it was my fault. I needed to get to a place where I could say, I know what I want, I know what I need, I can’t let you do this, I can’t let this happen, I can’t let that happen.”

Jennifer Lopez | Adrian Monroy/Getty Images

After this discovery, Lopez said she learned to put herself first. She no longer wanted to put up with relationships that weren’t right for her.

“Even when I feel bad about myself, I always try to keep in mind — I’m worth more than this, I’m better than this, I’m doing something wrong with myself,” she said. “You deserve better, all those things you have to tell yourself to get through the tough times.”

Jennifer Lopez says she learned to prioritize her needs over her partner’s

Lopez realized that she needed to work on her relationship with herself, which was more important to her than any romantic relationship.

“When it comes to love and relationships, what I’ve learned now is that the most important relationship is with yourself,” she said. “And it took me a long time to get there. But I finally feel like I understand that.”

She doesn’t want to be in a relationship until she feels more clear about who she is and what she wants.

“It’s not anyone else’s fault, but I couldn’t be right in any relationship until I was more in touch with who I was, what I needed, and what I wanted,” she said. “And getting to that place for me was a real journey, a real quest, where I realized that the primary relationship I needed to have and the true love had to be with myself.”

How many times has Jennifer Lopez been married?

Shortly after making these comments to Vanity Fair, Lopez announced that she was ending her marriage to Anthony. He was her third husband and longest marriage.

In 1997, Lopez married actor and producer Ojai Noa. They divorced less than a year later.

Jennifer Lopez | Stephane Cardinale – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images

In 2001, Lopez married dancer Cris Judd after meeting him on the set of her “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” video. This was another short-lived marriage for Lopez. The couple separated in 2002 and finalized their divorce in 2003. She was engaged to Affleck during this time.

After her split from Anthony, Lopez became engaged to Alex Rodriguez, but they never married. Not long after their engagement ended, Lopez got involved with Affleck. The couple married in 2022.