Rihanna is trying to convince me that A$AP Rocky is the prize in her relationship, and I simply will not believe that. 

In a lengthy new interview in Interview magazine, the singer gushed about her rapper beau and father of her children.

And while I’m sure he’s great, does she know that she’s Rihanna? Let’s dive into these quotes and see what the power of love can do to a bad bitch.

Exhibit A: Rihanna loves this man so much that she thinks he outshines her. “I be feeling bummy as shit next to this man.

I feel like, goddamn, I look like his assistant,” she said. “I’m getting on a plane. We should be in sweats.

He wants to be in a full Bottega suit. I’m like, ‘Why you got to do that to me?’” I would have to argue that Rihanna in sweats looks better than most people in anything.

But I get what she’s saying. And actually, I’ve decided that this is rude of Rocky. Wear sweats with the mother of your children! There’s no reason to wear Bottega on a plane.

In addition to outdressing her on travel days, Rihanna revealed that her partner likes to cheat at card games. “Rocky taught me this game called Crazy Eights, and it gets very competitive. Actually most of our arguments stem from it,” the Fenty Beauty mogul explained. “Yeah, it gets very serious. But he taught me, and then he cheats, and then the rules change every time we play. It’s not just me that says this. His friends say this, too.” Okay, so what I’m gathering so far is that Rocky likes outdressing Rihanna and cheating at card games. This is what happens when men are too pretty: They start thinking they can get away with whatever. Maybe hearing the story of how these two met will win me over.

“He grabbed my ass!”

Hmmm. Rihanna explained that her first introduction to Rocky was at the 2012 VMAs. They met at rehearsal, which she described as a professional “manager to manager, client to client” situation. Then, that night, he grabbed her ass. According to Rihanna, her team was worried she’d want “his head on a fucking mantle” [sic]. When she was cool with it, they realized she liked him.

The singer explained that the pair spent the next seven years in each other’s orbit, sharing similar views on fashion and their own art. They were always supportive of each other but never romantic.

“We’ve known each other for a long time. I’ve seen him in relationships. He’s seen me in relationships. We’ve seen each other outside of relationships,” Rihanna said of the couple’s initial trepidation. “We knew what we’re capable of, and the trouble that we could bring to each other’s lives. We can make or break each other’s hearts. And so, we started dating with a lot of caution.”

Then COVID hit, and, like many couples, the pair were forced to get really serious really fast. “COVID sped up our relationship, which I felt like god knew we needed because we were going to start a family,” Rihanna said. “And had it not been for COVID, we would’ve taken a lot more time to get comfortable with each other, to even know that we were ready.”

Rihanna said that in previous relationships, she felt that she had tried her best and still felt “like it’s not enough.” With Rocky, she said that was never the case. “When someone sees you completely, and believes in you, and thinks you’re worthy of being the mother of their kids, it’s a great feeling,” she said. “I felt the same about him. I knew he would be a great dad.”

Ultimately, these two seem happy and in love and like they’re having a great time. I just want to use this as a warning about really hot and charming men. Look what one of those guys is doing to the world’s most stunning billionaire. She felt “worthy” of being the mother of his children? That is the power of a man with a perfect smile.